Category: Uncategorized

Marriage is not always a walk in the park

Since I was in the mood to be outside enjoying nature, I asked Steve if we could go for a walk. He suggested I go with him to put up his deer stand. We did this together last year and it was fun (aside from the poison ivy part) so I agreed. It was time outside with my man so what’s not to like?

After parking the truck he informed me, since the ground was wet, we would carry the stand and equipment the rest of the way. This came as a shock to me since last year we just pulled the truck right up to the tree. We were at least ½ mile away from our destination and this tree stand was not light.

This may have been good information in the beginning when I was agreeing to this adventure in place of a walk in the park. What I had pictured as a leisurely stroll, enjoying nature with my husband, had turned into ½ mile of carrying heavy equipment. Each time we stopped to rest (did I mention the equipment was HEAVY) I felt more and more agitated. Although I did not speak a word out loud I assure you I was having an entire conversation in my mind. I mean, I was really letting him have it! Then it hit me. I was responsible for this because I had not clearly communicated my need to him. He made a suggestion and I agreed. Had I better communicated what I had in mind he would have known this was not going to meet my need. In that moment, I agreed to work on being a better communicator next time and I chose to move forward with this hike in the field enjoying it to the best of my ability.

I climbed into that deer stand high in the tree and looked over the beauty of the fields. This was every bit as beautiful as a walk in the park. It just took a little work getting there.

As we walked back to the truck he told me to keep an eye out for coyote droppings. I’m thinking: “Isn’t that nice. He doesn’t want me to step in coyote droppings.” Nope, once again I was wrong. It turns out he wanted to harvest the droppings to use as lure for future adventures in the fields. My female mind would have never gone there. Marriage is not always a walk in the park. Sometimes it’s a hike in the fields collecting coyote poop and allowing myself to enjoy the experience. Thankfully, there were no sightings on that day!

Does your teenager think you’re cool?

My teenage son who is off at college recently told me his friends think I’m cool! REALLY, me cool?!

Being cool to my son’s friends was not on the top of my list of desired achievements but what person doesn’t want to be liked by others?

The interesting part is that his friends have not yet met me in person which means they have arrived at their assessment based off my son’s representation of who I am. I admit, I like how he represents me. He has even convinced ME that I’m someone special.

This has caused me to question how I represent others. Do I choose to speak of their positive qualities or do I focus on the negative areas which may need some growth? We all have areas in our lives that could use growth and no one wants to be known by those areas alone.

Better yet, how do I represent Christ? Would others assess Him to be Faithful, All-powerful, Just, Righteous, Holy, Patient and Worthy based off my representation of who He is?

How about you, how do you represent other? How do you represent Christ? Do others think highly upon Him because of your representation?

⁸Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8 (NIV)

“Man Showing Thumbs Up” Image courtesy of [artur84] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Real or Phony?

Are you Facebook real or Facebook phony? Sometimes when I scan through my Facebook feed I’m tempted to think: “Her (his) life looks so good.” Then I remind myself that what I’m seeing on Facebook is a thought, feeling, statement or experience of that moment and there is a “rest of the story” that I may not see.

So in the attempt to be REAL, I’m openly sharing the following: Not one bed in my house is made at this moment. I chose to wear closed toe shoes today because I’m in desperate need of a pedicure. My porch plants look half dead because I have neglected to provide them with much needed water. I climbed into bed last night silently crying (so not to disturb my sweet husband’s sleep) over the memory of watching our daughter and her precious family drive off that very morning to begin the new stage in their lives in another state. All the while I was anticipating dropping our son off for college in only two days.

And through the silent tears, I took a deep breath and thanked the Lord that He was meeting me right here in the middle of my REAL life. He is greater than my circumstances and offers hope and peace in abundance. I know my Redeemer lives! He holds my future and my future is GOOD! Even though the transition is a reality and the emotions that go with the transition are powerful, I don’t have to be ruled by those emotions. I couldn’t be more proud and happy for both of my children. Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to allow myself to cry. I may cry the entire way home if that’s what I need. But not once will I choose to forget that saying goodbye to the yesteryears means saying hello to a future full of hope for all of us. Are you Facebook real or Facebook phony? What real-life circumstance are you facing?

Unexpected Kindness

At work I received an unexpected package in the mail from one of our vendors with whom we had placed a pretty significant order. I specifically chose them for this order because they offer great, reliable service. There was a handwritten thank you note addressed personally to me. The small package contained chocolates and a $50 Amazon gift card! This was totally unexpected and greatly appreciated. They showed unexpected kindness. Needless to say, it lifted my day but not as you may assume. Who wouldn’t want a $50 gift card but what impressed me the most was God’s reminder that over the years, I have regularly asked His blessings for our vendors and asked the Lord to help us find favor with them. This unexpected kindness reminded me that God hears my prayers and takes them personal.

In my morning quiet times I’ve been reading through the book of 2 Samuel. King David specifically sought out someone from Saul’s family to show kindness.

Now David said, “Is there still anyone who is left of the house of Saul, that I may show him kindness for Jonathan’s sake?” (2 Samuel 9:1)

The word David used for “kindness” comes from the Hebrew word chesed.

Strong’s #2617: Kindness, mercy, loving kindness; unfailing love; tenderness, faithfulness.₁

Chesed bears the connotation of a loyal love which manifests itself not in emotions but in actions. Chesed was reciprocal and expected, a deed performed in return for a previous loyalty. One who experiences the chesed of another is to reciprocate when the opportunity presents itself. Each sought to meet the other’s need.₂

David’s kindness was motivated by his loyal love for Jonathan. It was reciprocal and clearly unexpected by Mephibosheth, Jonathan’s son.

Are you overwhelmed with the Lord’s kindness? Who can you specifically seek out to show kindness for the Lord’s sake?

₁ Word Wealth from in Spirit Filled Life Bible pg. 1326

₂ Holman Bible Dictionary pg. 841

Yes or No!

We’re half way through the year. Have you moved toward or achieved (or perhaps given up on) your 2013 goals? Every December, I prayerfully choose goals for the upcoming year which will support my life purposes and dreams. I try to be reasonable and yet push myself out of my comfort zone in order to grow. I like to review my goals regularly to see how I am progressing. As we hit mid-year I’ve taken steps toward my goal of starting a blog.

This took 6 months because I felt quite insecure. “Does the world really need or care to read what I have to blog?” “What can I say that hasn’t already been shouted from the rooftops?” Regardless, I knew it would challenge me and would require a time commitment. Since most people who start a blog soon give up I wanted to be sure this was for me. I asked the Lord if He would confirm my desire by having someone encourage me to blog.

So the wait was on!

Several weeks later, in a hallway conversation, a young lady (whom I greatly admire) said, “Mrs. Stucky, you should blog.” In that moment my heart rate elevated. Her words were almost exactly what I had asked of the Lord. Did she know her words were being used as confirmation? That experience should have been exactly what I needed in order to jump in and get started. So did I get started? No! My insecurity continued so I asked the Lord again if He would have one more person confirm my desire to blog.

It’s important you understand, this was not something I felt the Lord commanding me to do. If that were the case my lack of following through would have been disobedience. Instead, this was a desire on my heart that I was considering and I was asking Him to confirm the desire. Several of my favorite Bible verses are Psalm 37:4-5. I like to know that the desires of my heart are His desires for my life. The more I delight in Him the more His desires become mine. So I choose to commit my ways to the Lord. The word commit used here is a picture of a camel burdened with a heavy load; when the load is to be removed, the camel kneels down, tilts far to one side, and the load rolls off.

Six months later, I was telling someone about an experience that really encouraged me and reminded me of God’s goodness. As I finished the story she said, “You should blog that.”

So here I am still incredibly insecure about this adventure but willing to move forward.

Do you have a goal or desire you would like to achieve? What is one step you can take in that direction? Perhaps you could ask the Lord to confirm your desire.

“Yes or No Signpost” Image courtesy of [Stuart Miles] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Spur One Another On

As I participated in a 10K race this past weekend I was reminded of the importance of well timed encouragement. At times, we all need encouragement which can come in different forms. Sometimes it comes from family, your closest friends, an acquaintance or even a stranger. Who is your greatest encourager?

My greatest life encourager is my husband. As I ran the race he and my son positioned themselves where they could be there twice throughout the course to cheer me on. But as I approached the spot where I expected them I did not locate them. I immediately felt disappointed. I realized how much I was looking forward to seeing them and receiving their encouragement.

As I got closer I located them. They had moved back from their normal spot to find shelter from the rain. As expected, they cheered me on and encouraged my efforts. I felt a small sense of pride as I was accomplishing something outside of my normal behavior and it just plain felt good to share it with my family. I knew in that moment they were proud of me. Don’t tell them but I even picked up my pace while running by.

Sometimes our family and friends are not our best cheerleaders. It turns out that some of the best fans are strangers – people we don’t even know placed strategically throughout the course cheering us on toward our goal. There were hundreds of people lining the course clapping and yelling words of encouragement. One of my favorites was the lady with a water hose who sprayed my backside as I passed. Some were even holding signs.

A few of my favorite signs:

“I trained 6 months to hold this sign.”

“Yes, this does make your butt look fast.”

“You are not half way.”

Hebrews 10:24-25 says “²⁴And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, ²⁵not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

This is a picture of purposefully making an effort to encourage one another. How will you purposefully encouraged someone this week? Your encouragement may be just what they need to make it to the next mile mark.

“Cowboy Boot With Spur And Horse” Image courtesy of [franky242] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

SO I HAD A HARD DAY

So I had a hard week! Things didn’t quite turn out the way I had hoped and I was left disappointed & discouraged. As I continue my studies on the book of Ruth I’ve learned a valuable lesson from Naomi’s response to her tragic circumstances which would have brought tremendous disappointment.

•Due to famine, she and her family left Bethlehem to go live in the foreign land of Moab.

•Her husband died.

•Her sons both married Moabite women (probably not her first choice).

•Then the unimaginable happened; both of her sons also died.

•She was left in a foreign land with her two Moabite daughters-in-law.

Her world was turned upside down. So she, and her daughter-in-law Ruth, headed to Bethlehem.

When they arrived in Bethlehem, the whole town was stirred because of them, and the women exclaimed, “Can this be Naomi?” “Don’t call me Naomi,” she told them. “Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. I went away full, but the LORD has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The LORD has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me.” (Ruth 1: 19b-21)

The name Naomi means “beautiful and pleasant,” yet she changed her name to Mara, which means “bitter.” I used to view Naomi’s response in a negative light and thought perhaps she needed a new attitude rather than her new name. However, after drinking from the cup of difficulties in my own life, I have come to appreciate Naomi’s ability to be sincere with this community of women. She didn’t put on a smile and pretend everything was alright. Clearly, everything was not alright. Naomi was REAL. She confessed that she had responded to her incredibly difficult, life-changing circumstances with bitterness.

Let’s not minimize her pain and deny her the time to work through that pain, even if it means going through a season of bitterness. Instead, may we learn from Naomi’s example of being real, admitting life can be difficult, as circumstances don’t always work out the way we hope.

Personally, I find great encouragement from the women in my life who are real and can admit the condition of their heart; the ones who know they need a Savior because they can’t do it on their own; the ones who know their Savior is bigger than their circumstances; the ones who trust by faith that the Savior is working on them right where they are – right in the midst of their bitterness. (Or grief, depression, disappointment, sadness, frustration, anger, loneliness, confusion, or sorrow.) You fill in the blank.

The Unnamed Messenger

The Unnamed Messenger

Imagine a stranger standing at your door making an announcement which would change the direction of your life?

In the first 5 verses of the book of Ruth, the writer (lacking all emotion) lays out the horrific facts of Naomi’s life:

•Due to famine she and her family moved from Bethlehem to Moab.

•Her husband died.

•Her son’s married Moabite women.

•Her sons both died.

Naomi was left a broken woman, in a foreign land, with her two Moabite daughters-in-law. An unnamed messenger tells Naomi that the LORD had come to the aid of his people by providing food for them back in Bethlehem.

The messenger’s name is not given but his words actually caused Naomi to change the direction of her life. This news was exactly what Naomi needed in order to prepare to return home and set out on the road to Bethlehem. Then Naomi instructed her daughters-in-law to “Go back, each of you, to your mother’s home.”

As comforting as their companionship could have been on the trip, Naomi knew what was ahead for Ruth and Orpah. She was concerned for their future and welfare. In their male-centered culture, a woman without a husband was vulnerable, without protection and daily provision. It was true that if they returned with Naomi to Judah they would be far less likely to remarry. Instead, Naomi hoped they would “find rest in the home of another husband.”

The choices of Orpah and Ruth would affect them for all of eternity. Orpah chose to go back to her people and her gods but Ruth clung to Naomi and confessed Naomi’s God.

Naomi’s relationship with her God was different than what Orpah and Ruth had ever experienced. There was something about Naomi’s God that attracted Ruth to Him. Even in the midst of Naomi’s broken heart – even in the midst of her self-confessed bitterness – God chose to use Naomi to draw Ruth to Himself. God used Naomi as an evangelist! It only takes a flicker of light to make an influence in the darkness!

I like that God can use me too, even when I am spiritually lacking, even when I struggle with the hard issues of life and find myself experiencing disappointments.

What kind of messenger are you? What is God doing in your life that could be an encouragement to others and are you prepared to share that message?

The Widow’s Light Bulb

I recently read a statistic which said 9 out of 10 women will outlive their husband. Highly alarmed, I immediately reread the information to be sure I had read correctly. Who am I to think I will be among the 10 percent?

Last week in an effort to support my husband’s role as deacon, I attended a widow’s (widower’s) banquet. I arrived early to assist in set-up. I distributed warm rolls at each place setting and began to pray over those who would soon sit at each table.

I prayed five specific prayers for each attendee:

∙to delight in the food

∙to enjoy the fellowship

∙to enjoy the events of the evening

∙to be encouraged by Christ

∙to allow Steve & me to be a blessing to those at our table

After the attendees arrived and were seated at the tables, I looked around and spotted the most beautiful, graceful group of women (and men). I fought back tears as I remembered the earlier statistic and thought this could someday be me. Honestly, I privately grabbed my husband’s hand under the table. Had I not wisely deemed it inappropriate, I would have physically thrown myself on him in the moment and wept with love and appreciation.

As we ended our night at the widow’s banquet I mentioned to one of the attendees that my husband is quite a handy guy and if she ever needs anything to be sure to let us know. I specifically said: “If you ever need light bulbs changed…” She immediately began to weep and explained that she had lived with burned out light bulbs for four years. Not sure who to ask or hire she continued to go without.

In that moment I realized, the widow’s banquet was also for me! I had showed up to love and encourage the widows but the Lord had used them to encourage me. He answered every prayer I had requested earlier that night: the food was incredibly delicious; I was encouraged beyond words by the fellowship; the talents were delightful and I hope to be allowed the awesome privilege to help change the widow’s light bulbs. I was reminded of the blessing of marriage and that I am not promised tomorrow.

Do you cherish your husband as the gift he is intended to be? Do you realize there could be a day you will not be able to secretly grab his hand under the table?