After launching our canoes down the Elkhorn Creek we didn’t make it 20 feet before we were cruising down the creek BACKWARDS. I had pictured us leisurely drifting down the winding creek and was not expecting a “challenge to the marriage” type of experience.
It was my understanding the person in the back was responsible for steering the canoe. Of course my husband, (the one in the back) was expressing a few words about how I needed to help out from the front. We maneuvered our canoe back in the frontward position and what started out as a frustrating moment turned into a delightful morning. It was a true picture of our marriage over the past 26 years. Sometimes we’ve gotten turned around and it felt like we were drifting down the creek backwards. Jumping out of the canoe has never been an option for either of us. Tonight, out of the blue my husband said, “You are my lady; 100%; Lifelong!” He is a committed sternman and I am his committed bowman.
As he has steered our marriage over the years, my paddle was not meant to be responsible for the main steering. There have been times when he could not see the imminent obstacle ahead and I’ve had the responsibility & privilege of using my paddle of influence; adding my wisdom and insight, and complementing his already existing leadership from the back of the canoe.
This has taken incredible discipline on my part since I’m convinced there have been times I may have been able to lead better in particular situations. Yet I chose to submit to his leadership even if it meant floating down the creek backwards for a period of time. I admit I have misused my paddle. I may have intentionally knocked him in the head or the back side or splashed unnecessary water his way. In the end, his leadership has proven best.
If your marriage is floating down the creek backwards, DON’T JUMP! Perhaps you need to pull your paddle out of the creek and allow your husband to steer the canoe. Or perhaps your paddle is needed to assist in maneuvering the vessel into the corrected position. Maybe that means you saying “I’m sorry” or “I forgive you” or “You lead and I’ll follow.” There can only be one sternman in the canoe!
How are your paddling skills?
Copyright©2015, Gloria Stucky
Photo: “Boat Silhouette” by Gualberto107/FreeDigitalPhotos.net