As I opened the front door the wind powerfully pulled it from my hands. I quickly reached for it in hopes of preventing it from blowing off the hinges again. In my attempt to save the door, my body launched forward pushing the stroller which held my infant son. The impact forced it down the steps in front of me where it flipped landing upside down on the concrete sidewalk.
I stood there screaming for so long that I lost my voice! I stopped long enough to listen for his cries and heard complete silence. Not a peep came from inside the still upside down stroller. I was certain I had just killed my baby! Shaking uncontrollably, incredibly weak, unsure what I should do next I found enough strength to flip the stroller over and investigate the consequences of my failure as a mother.
His face was bloodied where the skin had been ripped from the impact with the concrete. He was attempting to cry but no sound came from his tiny little body. Somehow I managed to make it to the hospital. Why I didn’t just call for help is still unknown to me. Upon full examination, the doctor assured me he would be okay and then turned his attention to me. In his experience he knew I was also a victim in this situation. He knew I would struggle to forgive myself for bringing such harm to my baby.
These memories all came flooding back to me after I ran into a neighbor as she was pushing her adorable, almost 6 week old baby in the stroller. I was reminded how challenging those early years of motherhood can be – especially with multiple children.
As I listened to her joys and challenges I said a quick prayer, “Lord, help me to be an encouragement.” I didn’t share any nightmare stories of my own experiences nor did I tell her everything would be okay. I let her know how proud I was of her ability to discern and communicateI reminded her, that it is okay to struggle and I encouraged her to embrace those struggles on those difficult days. For those are the days we look back to and remember our great need for our Savior and His continued grace upon our lives.
My children endured their fair share of parental dysfunctions and inabilities but in the midst of it all, they had a Father who loved them and cared for them in ways unfathomable by their earthly parents. He is the one Who gets all glory for the two beauties I have the joy of calling my children! So blessed by the privilege of motherhood!
Copyright©2015, Gloria Stucky
